CLAYGATE CC PLAYERS PEN PIX 2008

NIGEL ABBOTT:     Lifetime Achievement Award from club in 2005 after years as skipper of  ageing Sunday team.   Marathon runner, mountaineer, film maker, fair seam bowler, communications director for BOC.  Is there no end to the man’s talents? Yes, batting.

PETER ANDREWS:    What’s Up Doc?  Nothing wrong with Peter, never injured...  Hard-hitting tall left–handed opener.  Affable if occasional member of Sunday side.

KIM BAHL:   Apart from marrying Rohit,  faultless performance around the club.  Certainly Claygate’s best looking auditor in recent memory.

ROHIT BAHL:    Entered in book as “Nohit”  by a scorer in St Lucia.  Word gets round apparently.   Talkative and sociable gas man.   Loves golf and threatens to play more cricket. Mostly threats…

SIMON BUSHELL:  Cricket Week specialist who once averaged 201 over the five days.  Loves cover drives, sports cars, his dog (who once came out to bat with him).  Also captains a team called “The Unplayables” who are anything but.

DES CECIL:  

SURANJAN COORAY:  : Starting to resume cricket career after being the brains behind the “Barmy Army” and a travel empire if that’s not a contradiction in terms. Previously a swashbuckling all-rounder for Claygate, now a wicket-keeper batsman. Often seen on the Rec playing cricket with his kids. Part of the triumvirate who master-minded Claygate’s first overseas tour in 1995 to Sri Lanka.

ALUN COPE-MORGAN:  

IAN DARKE:    

RUSSELL DAVIS:  Consistently one of Claygate’s top batsmen for many years and played in representative sides.  Started as a fast bowler...    According to his skipper, “commanding through the V”.  We could not possibly comment.

GRAHAM DEAR:   Larger than life, boisterous and innovative ex-skipper of double title-winning Saturday 2^nd XI,  he might have walked off the set of “Outside Edge” (a sort of soap opera about a village cricket club).   Runs successful electrical business and  sparking new U14 colts side into life.

JAKEY “Baby” DEAR:    Much improved batsman, even though his St Lucia tour average of 3.3 reinforced his claim that he was there “on holiday”. Great job as skipper of 3^rd XI.. Once hit a last ball six to win a match. Sociable party animal type. Not a bit like his dad, then.

KEITH ELLIS:  Much missed Sunday 2s all-rounder with a deceptive beamer. Come back soon Keith.

“FERGIE”:   Britain’s fittest middle-aged man.  Astounding considering his intake of  ten crates of beer per hour on tours.  The best groundsman we ever had and great supporter of the club at home and even more so overseas.

NICK FRENCH:   Signed from Oxshott as a youngster,  he is a gifted batsman who has played several big innings for the club already.  Potent leg spin is still a work in progress. Always fired up in matches. Unfortunately has a habit of switching clubs every season – might be back with us when he has run out of clubs to try.

PHIL GRAHAM:   More often seen overseas than in Claygate. Search party sent out for our missing Sunday batsman and sometime keeper and tourist.  Remembered for a famous opening partnership with Graham “Uncle” Williams and for his popular mother who came on tour with us to Sri Lanka in 1995. 

RUSS GUYATT:  The best captain we never had.  Well there is still time Russ. Happy to talk tactics after fourth guiness if he has a late pass from Pam. Answers to name of “Gary” ( Lineker).  Fine slip fielder (ie once caught one).  Launched his kwik cricketers as an U11 league side in 2006. Nearly proposed to Pam on tour, but fell asleep.

JUSTIN HANNAFORD:   Claygate’s Glenn McGrath.  Tall Aussie paceman who hits the spot every time, so to speak. Under-rated bowler who can’t buy a wicket – shame for the poor Aussie.  Only loses cool when hit for three successive sixes. Well when he is hit for anything.  Full-time No 11….even when we only have ten and he secretly believes he is Freddy Flintoff. Although he lives in the UK and is married to a local, will never ever support the poms! After a few drinks may start to give unsuspecting victims wedgies, or start throwing curry around... On a serious note, is actually quite a talented photographer, having recently won an award.

PETER HARTNELL:   Hotel Antoinette maestro.  Good servant to club as skipper and fixture secretary, but a bit accident prone.  Drives to away games as if entered in British Grand Prix. 

JAMIE HENDERSON:  Batting Cup Winner 2006 and top individual score in St Lucia.   Described as the “Vivienne Westwood of Claygate”.  Dashing bat, brilliant fielder, decent keeper,  and er….erratic bowler.  Dodgy taste in cricket caps. Currently educating Peruvians on how to play the slog-sweep.

MATT HOLMES: one of the best finds in recent years, Matt has graduated from Sunday 2s to 2^nd XI in one season. Career best “6 for” in opening fixture in 2006. Useful out-swing bowler with a bit of bounce. Often brings fan club.

CHRIS HOWE:  Fined on tour for remarking that St Lucia “looked a lot like England”.   No banana plantations in Hinchley Wood as far as we remember. Top player with high-elbow technique and hits 70mph -plus with sometimes destructive fast bowling…when not bowling no-balls, that is. He can compare himself to Freddie.

NUWAN JAYASENA: talented off-spinning all-rounder who stunned Holmbury St Mary with crucial 134 not out with a barrage of sixes. Comes from the Suranjan cricketing dynasty. Very popular member of 1^st XI who will hopefully last longer than some recent recruits.

BEN LANE:  “Gentle Ben”  like golfer Crenshaw. His fast out-swingers sometimes make him the “most unplayable bowler in the league”, according to his 1st XI skipper.  Only player in club to hit a century on tour. Ex Colt of Year has grown into doting dad.

JOHN LAW: A true gentleman of Claygate (or somewhere nearby in Surrey). Regular in Sunday 2s and all-round popular club member. Had a useful son Tom who plays once a year.

RUFUS LEGG:  An Officer and a Gentleman for Claygate CC.  Topped a thousand runs three years running.  Brilliant club secretary without whom Claygate CC might face imminent closure,  so we pray the Foreign Office keep him at home.  The club’s king of the reverse sweep – even used it to reach his maiden century in 1990, unfortunately it took him 14 years to score another one.

CHRIS LEWIS:   Described thus by his skipper Mr McPhail last season: “medium fast when he makes it to crease, slow medium after heavy night. Comical fielder, slow runner whose only 50 came when someone else ran for him”.  Very fair summary for useful new signing.

PHIL LEWIS:  Veteran keeper  “Luigi” has been going longer than “The Mousetrap”.    Master of the one handed leg-side take known as “the claw”.  Probably saved more games than anyone in Claygate history with stubborn late order batting.  Once went through a whole season without being dismissed. Driving test overdue.

CHRIS LOUW… another South African import. Unfortunately his cricketing pedigree is more Dillon than Lance. Might develop into useful bowler, batting knows no depths.

SUNNY MAHAJAN:  Strides to the crease with the aura and heritage of a great Indian dynasty behind him, and has capacity to destroy bowling in his own wristy laconic style. Won club Batting Cup in first season and, according to reports, enjoys growing reputation among the female population of Hounslow.

IAN MANTON:  The not-so-accidental tourist.  Now been on two club tours and despite injury, emerged as top bowler in St Lucia.  Debut at Dalmore Avenue eagerly awaited…

LANCE MAYER:  Hails from the neighbouring farm to South African star Lance Klusener.  Extremely talented, aggressive batsman and brilliant keeper who played for Surrey Downs rep side and hit a six to the biggest boundary at The Oval. Pity about the byes and should score ten hundreds a year.

ALAN McKINLEY:    One of the club’s major personalities for donkey’s years, during which he has sometimes played like one (a donkey that is) and on other occasions performed heroics with bat and ball – as well as being a tactically astute skipper. Has emerged from health problems to plan assault on Everest,  but suspicion the old wild man is still lurking.

TOM McKINLEY:   Former Surrey schoolboy player who really arrived as a senior by producing a match-winning hat-trick with the last three balls of a tense league game in 2005.  Dangerous batsman, too if he doesn’t throw it away. Could keep family name going at club for another 20 years if he is very unlucky.

STEVE McKINLEY:  The young schoolboy leg-spinner has matured into one of Claygate’s youngest ever skippers. Acquiring vital experience and suggests best is yet to come, probably as a swashbuckling batsman – keeping it in the family.

VERA McKINLEY:   Her ripe Somerset burr dominates the club pavilion on match days, which has become second home in summer.   Fantastic teas (equal best in Surrey with Old Woking) flapjacks are famous – and invaluable work in producing club averages in past. Supports Yeovil, but no one is perfect.

JAMES McPHAIL:   Urbane Crystal Palace-loving former skipper of the Saturday 2^nd XI.  Shame he could not stand the heat. Attractive top order batsman who selflessly put himself in too low while captain. Valuable addition to the club.

DAVID MILNER:   Certainly a more wise and distinguished President than George W. Bush.   A fine all-rounder in his playing days,  David  has served club magnificently in many capacities, and Claygate is proud and lucky to have him as  “Head of State”.

DICK MURPHY:  The “Silver Fox” is Claygate’s best-dressed man.   A well organised batsman and nagging slow bowler,  Dick has just been appointed captain of the Saturday 2^nd XI (again).   His London cab, however, is no immediate threat to Jenson Button and Co or Peter Hartnell in a race to away games.

JORIS NATHANSON:  Oxford graduate once forecast in this column as a future Prime Minister.  Another duff prediction then.  Tidy keeper who snapped up six victims in an innings in 2005.   Can bat, but has been disguising that fact very well for some time now.

MARSHALL NICHOLLS:    Miracle man Marshall returned from the cricketing wilderness after a decade away in 2005.  Comeback hit buffers with three ducks in St Lucia (but what a tan).  Award-winning player and skipper in days of yore.

MARK O’CONNELL:   Claygate’s most consistent bowler of the last twenty years and key man in the championship win of 2004.   Distractions – fishing, darts, dodgy knees, Manchester United. Deserves award for sitting through terminally dull rec ground trust meetings.

DAVE PAGE: Best onions in the village (and no, ladies, that is not coded language). Ask the Flower Show judges.  But has the wily old left-arm bowler gone into retirement …or will he back to haunt 2^nd XI batsmen as a spinner?

JAMIE PAUL:   Reading football fan so probably lost somewhere on Cloud Nine after their promotion to the Premiership. Was a sensationally good fielder and stylish batsman, but appearances have become spasmodic.

VIKRAM PRABHAKAR:  Candidate for nicest guy in club.  Quiet, dignified, charming, and popular.   Selfless batsman and clever spin bowler.   Inspirational form in 2004 championship year.

DAVE PRICE:  Nearly missed St Lucia tour when he discovered passport had expired at airport.  Recovered to have fine debut tour with bat and ball. Expected to lead by example as new captain of Sunday 1st XI for 2006.   Son of former Claygate keeping legend Jem.

DANNY RANGER:  Wild child and character.  Likely to throw odd tantrum.  Crafty drags on a fag at mid-off.  Erratic and inconsistent, but has produced a few explosive and expletive performances.

STEVE SALMON:  The man with the pink pads. “Smokey”, as he’s known, is a right handed David Gower.  Not sure if that means he flies Tiger Moths or bats elegantly?   Can flatter to deceive and good fielding spoilt at times by chats to crowd on boundary (what crowd? – Ed).

DANNY SIMMONS: clubs Jamie Oliver who bats like… well he calls it batting. Big-hitting mid-week and Sunday 2s batsman who can whip up dinner for 50 at the drop of a hat. Happy to provide references.

RICKY SINGH: A Jake recruit. Sometime fast bowler who once gave Jamie a working over in the nets, has anyone seen him recently?

ANDY SPECTOR:    It was “Spector the Spectator” for many years.  Andy thought it was all over. But it wasn’t.  The old warhorse has come storming back full of enthusiasm with vital runs and wickets when he isn’t driving his London tour buses. Tour organiser extradinaire

TOBY VALE: talented actor, could come in handy at end of tour parties? Showed promise as a bowler and lower order batsman before acting career took over.

CHRIS VAN GRAAN: Another new recruit via South Africa. At least he lives in Claygate. Popular new member of 1^st XI, useful fielder and talented batsman.

HENRY VINCENT:  Number 6 in the Vincent cricketing clan,  wind-up merchant Henry is still a decent off-spinner, but suspicion grows that he may be even better as a batsman with some top scores and stylish knocks in 2004 and 2005 including a title-chasing 126 not out.

ROGER VINCENT: the father of the cricketing dynasty. Onetime off-spinner and reliable batsman who prefers the lure of the golf course and tennis court. Occasionally seen down the club keeping Henry in order.

RICHARD WALLER:    Tall, agile, sharp fielder and attacking batsman.  Congratulations are due for wedding bells in close season.  Patience of a saint in trying to force through pavilion improvements….now due in the year 2025, of course. 

PADDY WALSH:  Genial Irish barman who might easily have become a top footballer or boxer in his youth.  Instead he wound up at Claygate, dishing out years of bonhomie in the pavilion.  We wish him speedy recovery after recent ops and health problems.

SUZANNE WALSH:  Saucy  personality-plus presence around the club, with penchant for leading sing-songs at end-of-tour parties and the like.  Good laugh and invaluable help around pavilion.

JOEL WATKINS:    For years he was the boy practicing on the concrete strip next to the pavilion. Now the teenager has arrived as a senior player.  Starred on his first tour in St Lucia, becoming the first Claygate player ever to take five wickets in an innings overseas.

LUKE WEBB:   now the cricketer in the family, Luke has shrugged aside a serious cruciate knee ligament injury to become a key bowler for the club. He gets genuine movement at a good pace. Produced some jaffas (rather than bananas) in St Lucia.

DAN WELLS:    Toured Tobago and often drafted in at home to offer Sunday sides some solid middle-order batting. “Bright,  pleasant, articulate”  according to a hand out from his Hare Lane family base.

MATT WELLS:    Pugnacious and effective left hand bat who loves facing off-spin, one-time Sunday 2s captain,  liquorice all sorts bowler, athletic in field.  Training to be a doctor .  Bedside manner unknown.

STEVE WELLS:   Parish Council chairman with penchant for dawn runs, good books and lively debate.  Godfather of cricket clan.  Decent leg-spin and attacking bat. Managed just two runs on luckless tour of St Lucia, but stormed into 2006 season with Warne-like 6 for 21 figures in first game of summer.

CHRIS WHITE:  Australian swing bowler and useful lower order batsman.  Only quiet Aussie you will ever meet. Man of dignity and integrity, which has led some to question his heritage.

DAVE WILLIAMS:   Without him the Sunday 2^nd XI would have dropped dead three years ago.  As skipper and reliable keeper his emergency phone calls kept the side alive. Valued member of club.

DILLON WOODS:   Depicted in movie “Cry Freedom” as youngster who forgot his cricket bat (his father was the famous South African editor involved in the Steve Biko affair).  Full of ideas and energy, likes to be thought of as an all-rounder Dillon, has been a spiky galvanising influence and led the 1st XI to a championship win in 2004.

DAVID WRIGHT:   Once compared in one-day festival programme, for reasons not entirely clear, to radio DJ Steve Wright ( “all Wright in the afternoon”).  Good man in tight spot and true blue enthusiast.

RORY O'MALLEY. Opening bat for Sunday2's.Irish but supports Wolves. Married to Hazel daughter Hebe the youngest person to ever go on Cricket tour